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The Big 8

 

Description

We asked all establishments on our website to send us quirky, spicy, fresh and thoughtful tales of memorable moments at their spot. We had a fantastic response which just goes to prove that we offer the best that is out there!

Cary from Sand Forest Lodge near Hluhluwe was one of the first to submit her amusing anecdote about the eighth wonder of the Bushveld!

First we had the 'Big Five in South Africa, then came the Great White and the Whale, so we were up to the 'Big Seven', and now we are in for another big addition, the 'South African Bushwhacked Male', as the following story suggests!
(Prepare yourself for a lengthy tale - but then again, the 'Big Eight' like to linger in the limelight!)

Sitting at the boma with an Italian Tour Group relaxing over sundowners (mainly gorgeous women in the group!) Godfrey (my husband), beautifully dressed and puffed up, was in his element and ready to woo our guests.

G: "So did you enjoy your game drive today and what did you see?"
Claudia (Criminal Attorney from Rome - long black hair, sexy figure, huge big blue eyes): "It was very exciting, the animals here are very big, very strong, very exciting....l theenk l like this place of yours."
Sylvia (Architect from Rome - cute, short auburn hair, good legs): "The bush, it brings something out from inside, you theenk?"
G: "Well yes, in SA our animals are very dangerous and you need to be careful on the drives as they are unpredictable, even here at our lodge there are dangers that you should be aware of."
Manuela (Air Hostess - drop dead gorgeous): "What is so dangerous here? You mustn't scare us ladies, we are sleeping alone."
G: "We have these very big spiders, they like to hide in your shoes and there are snakes, very big dangerous snakes, l shot one the other night by my front door......."

As he is reciting his hunting adventure, the ladies lift their feet onto the bar rung, and seem to move slowly into a huddle and try not to peep over their shoulders.
G: “Anyway you should always be on the look out for predators, we don't want any of you lovely ladies to come to any harm."
Sylvia: "You make us scared now, what can we do, we are not able to look after ourselves if an animal attacks us!"
Cary: "Godfrey stop your silly talk and stop scaring our guests."
G: “l feel it my duty to warn you ladies that is all, l tell you the facts so that you can be aware of the dangers in Africa, especially at night."
Manuela: "How will we get to our rooms, how will we sleep with all these things creeping around us?"
G: "Don't worry ladies, l am here and l will protect you, l will escort you all to your rooms and check for anything that is dangerous."
Claudia: "Oooh Godfrey, you are so beeg and brave, but once we get our rooms what can we do?"
G: "Keep your doors locked and don't go out in the dark, if you are worried you can phone us on the cell phone and we will come to you and check for dangers."
Cary: "Yeh, right Godfrey and who's army, not me. No really ladies, you can feel safe here, we even sleep with our doors open at night, you need not worry.....really."
Sylvia: "Cary you are lucky, you have this wonderful man to protect you, but us, we have no one, we will not sleep."
Cary: "Don't worry, Godfrey will escort you to your rooms, in the mean time have a glass of wine (on the house), it will relax you, let's talk about nice things rather than scary things."
Manuela: “l like to hear Godfrey talking brave, it is exciting, tell me some more scary stories."

Picture the scene................all the ladies cuddle up to the bar leaning toward the great, big, brave hunter, huge eyes glued to him, breathing heavily, clutching their free glasses of red wine.........so much for profits............exit Cary on a "Good night ladies, l must get some sleep (it is now 23h30 and l must be up for breakfast at 05h00), hope you all sleep well.........." (not!)

I ask you, what is it about women in the bush???? No really, we all had a wonderful time, to say G had a ball is an understatement, he really is enjoying himself and should have been doing this a long time ago. By the way, G got to bed at ± 01h30, at 05h00 he bounded out of bed to check on his guests and to make sure they slept well, besides he promised them that he would make them toast at breakfast, because "his toast is crispier than the toast that the chef makes" - sweet hey?

When our tour group was leaving we were both smothered in hugs and kiss, kiss (European style) with promises that they would come back next year, they just love our lodge, our hospitality and especially our Godfrey. By the way, he has now been invited to Tuscany by Sylvia, to stay in her holiday villa - any time, Manuela to Rome, she will show him all the sites, and has an email address from Claudia with a view to letting her know when he is going to Italy so that she can take him skiing. I wonder if they are paying for the flight?!
Even the old Italian Mama - she cried and pinched G's cheek and told him she loved him and would miss him until next year!!

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SafariNow reserves the right not to be responsible for the topicality, correctness, completeness or quality of the stories as provided by our establishments. Liability claims regarding damage caused by following any recommendations as provided, or copying any stunts as displayed in the stories, will therefore be rejected.

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